Dear 10 Degrees South,
As a highly-trained and well-versed internet technologist, I take great interest in any restaurant’s web presence. Though it is an oft abused topic – great website development, as with any skilled form of labor, is in short order. As many will lament, the restaurant and food industry is a wasteland of digital vomit. In that respect, I must commend you on the recent changes to your website; however, I must now ask that you change it back to the way it was.
Again, let me be clear. Your new website layout, design, and code structure is vastly superior to what once was. Unfortunately, the site still suffers from major usability issues, rendering problems, and so forth. Although, even if it was a perfect example of “best practices,” I would still be writing you this letter.
Why you ask? Because I visited the previous version of your website far more often than I will this one. The number of websites who can reasonably justify the use of music, especially music that automatically starts upon a visitor’s arrival to said site, is beyond slim and barely more than none. Yours is and was no exception. However, I found myself repeatedly returning to your old site simply because of the included accompaniment of ‘Forgot About Dre’ rendered as one of the silkiest examples of muzak the world has ever seen. I shit you not – it truly was awesome!
That there was no logical or reasonable purpose for that song to be the audio file of choice simply added to the charm. Sure, I often visited with the intent to coax out my inner Nelson Muntz, point at you and laugh at your plight isn’t really the point. At least I was there. Sure, your inane web developer who agreed to or perhaps suggested that you include some muzak should be flogged for his transgressions, but again … I was there. Of course, I repeatedly shamed you publicly for the decision … but at least I was driving traffic to you.
Now, that is all done and gone. Instead of being a noticeable piece of what not to do with a high degree of “entertainment value,” your website sits as a modicum of “slightly better than not horrible” web development and design. You went from being a big fish in a big pond to being a small speck in a river of constantly moving waste.
Whatever you believe to be the tone and intent of this letter, I can assure you this is a most honest plea. I want that turd of a website back because it brought with it this awful clash of cultural themes (Elevator Music, Hip-Hop Culture, and South African cuisine) and a pleasantly humorous amount of shock value. And though I will even go a step further and assume that you did not have license for said song – continue to break all the rules and put it back in action!!!!!
Okay, maybe I wouldn’t be making this request if you happened to have a stellar example of competent web work … but I’d bet I’d still be less inclined to come look at your site on a semi-regular basis. And in the world of the web, it’s all about the eyeballs baby!
Yours in food,
Foodie Buddha
Dude, you suck so bad. Never a kind word. Normally I wouldn’t care, because I tend to ignore you like everyone else (especially after showing such consistency with your blog *ahem…), but damn… 10 is a great restaurant. You just had to find some shit wrong, eh? Look, if you don’t own a restaurant, or never have, please shut the fuck up. I’m sure you think it’s cute, but I’m only commenting because I’m sick of even taking the time to take you halfway seriously, so I won’t be anymore. And no, I don’t work for, nor do I own, 10 Degrees South. But I own you. Damn, you suck. One of these days your sorry ass will surely choke on the chicken wing that you’d finally give whatever your highest rating is. Actually, who gives a fuck? Just go do something and stop hating. Biatch.
Though I’m not sure you will see this on account of the obviously fake credentials you attached to your comment, I might as well respond.
Thanks for taking the time to comment here. I find it interesting that you seem so hell bent on undermining my opinion and the information I share in a manner that is far more aggressive, caustic and wholly inaccurate than anything I ever have or will post on this site.
Further to the point, you seem to insist on fluffy, lighthearted pieces (which this obviously is to anyone with a modicum of intelligence) that only say nice things (which this does not). However, you have done so in such a ridiculous and pompous manner that you have undermined whatever legitimacy you could have possibly brought to the table (not much as it just so happens to be).
Now, in an attempt to clarify for you something that you don’t seem to actually understand: this letter has absolutely nothing to do with anything about 10 Degrees South other than their website. Further to the point, it seems that you wished we lived in a world where people would go about their business without any input from others. Unfortunately, nobody in this world knows everything – so it is incumbent on those with good information to spread it and disseminate it. I don’t proclaim to know everything, I just happen to have access to information and knowledge basis that some do not.
Though I’m sure you are busy flipping back and forth between this and dictionary.com to understand my admittedly basic grasp of the English language, let me take this a step further.
I do little to hide my belief that on the whole, Atlanta offers a pretty weak food scene. Many cities with vastly larger population bases as well as town/cities much smaller than ATL’s offer a much better food scene, in no unspecific terms. Again, while you seem to think that this post has even the least bit to do with food, it does not.
And surely – if you spent any time whatsoever actually reading my series of posts, you would know that i do in fact have good things to say.
Meanwhile, as you piss shit and spew vinegar from your mouth in a way that even the most vile people would envy – perhaps you should try and adopt a sense of humor and try and educate yourself out of the ignorant little box you so warmly enjoy.
As you seem to imply that I have no reason to comment on places who I hand money over to, yet you seem to have the great motivation to post a bunch of moronic ramblings with little context about things that are freely available and easy to avoid, let me end with this:
I guess one advantage to me being an independent, self-funded foodie without an editor in place or any professional responsibility to co-workers is that I can simply tell people to fuck off without a care in the world for what it does to my bottom line. In case you haven’t realized, that’s what I’m basically doing here – only in an articulate manner that is well-substantiated.
As you seem to lack any semblance of common sense, let me inform you that you have the ability to simply not read me. Meanwhile, get a sense of humor and learn to recognize an admittedly tongue-in-cheek, albeit truthful, post when you see one.
-Yours in food
FB
I guess one advantage to me being an independent, self-funded foodie
without an editor in place or any professional responsibility to
co-workers is that I can simply tell people to fuck off without a care
in the world for what it does to my bottom line. In case you haven’t
realized, that’s what I’m basically doing here – only in an articulate
manner that is well-substantiated.
==========================
Man, nobody wants to read your reply. I just picked a section at random and decided to let you know just how deep in over your head you are.
There are journalists, food critics, writers, photographers, culinary critics, and all types of ordinary citizens who just happen to know what they like, and like to support businesses that took the risk of going into business to charge people for meals, who would call you just as much of a bitch as you are. First of all, you’re anonymous. And I can be anonymous all I want, because your blog is such bullshit that it doesn’t warrant me actually having to honor you with my graceful identity. But make sure you memorize this: my presence is a present.
This asswipe blog of yours, which really is nothing but swill and stink, is cool if you’re just a fucking loser who’s never done it yourself, and only want to criticize people for some shit you never had the nuts or ovaries to attempt. But it’s not cool to me. And trust me, I don’t care who you are. But I would be my last dollar that you can’t make a better website than 10 Degrees South (I mean, just look at this sorry shit I’m wasting my time debating you on; is this even Blogspot?). And you definitely don’t have the wherewithal to challenge them in the kitchen, nor One Eared Stag, or any of the other places I’ve seen you dog out like some kinda brilliant genius of stovetop celebrity.
Oh, and nobody needs a dictionary to read this basic bullshit you write. It doesn’t even seem like you know what the fuck you’re talking about, so why would anyone take the time to research your terminology? Are you supposed to be intelligent or something, or did I miss all that time you took off when you realized you were fighting a losing battle, against your articulate-ass self? Hahahahaha. Hahahahaha… HAHAHAHA. Dude, get the fuck outta here.
The moral of this reply is simple: don’t try to hide your intentions since being called out. Tongue-in-cheek only applies to you because you’re licking the ass of an audience that has no respect for what you say, but finds you bitchy and thus entertaining. You should tryout for the next season of Real Housewives of Atlanta, but hurry; I hear Usher’s ex-wife is looking like a shoe-in.
All you need to admit is that you’re a fucking sucker, and this is your way of being mad a people who did what you’d love to do, if only you had the guts. But hey, at least you have a blog!
Loser.
This entire letter is inane. And I would question any skill you have re: internet design. And I certainly question your taste.